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How to Ask for Money Instead of Gifts

A friend of mine emailed me today with a wedding planning question and I thought it would be great to feature on the blog. Have a wedding-related question? Send it my way!


Q: Hey, I have a wedding question for you. Me and my fiance are getting married this year. We’ve both been married before, and prefer money in lieu of wedding gifts. Is there a good way to word this on the invitations? Thanks for your advice!

A: First of all, many people do bring cash in cards to the wedding. It’s the most desired wedding gift, according to research done by Hallmark Cards. But if you want to register and mention it in a wedding shower invitation, there is a cool way to do this now.

Register for gift cards through So instead of saying you’d prefer money on the shower invitation you can just say “Registered at” – that way folks still feel like they’re giving a gift and you can pick what you want the money for (home renovation, restaurants or wherever you want).

She responded and said, “Oh man that helps so much. We just want money for the honeymoon since we basically already have everything we need. Thank you so much!!!”

There are some travel agencies and lodging companies allow you to register for your honeymoon so your guests can contribute directly to your trip. Some of these include The Big DayHoneyLunaDistinctive HoneymoonsTraveler’s Joy and The Honeymoon.

But read the fine print so you know what you’re getting into. According to Newsweek Budget Travel, these travel registries require pre-payment and some have expiration dates. And all charge some kind of fees. Do your research and see if it’s worth the risks involved.

If you’d like to set up a way for friends and family to donate gifts digitally (instead of cash), set up a PayPal account with your email address and bank account number.

Some auto dealers are even setting up registries so couples can request money toward the purchase of a car instead of a traditional registry. Check around with local dealers. is an example based in the Twin Cities.

If you’re saving up for a down payment on a home, some banks offer special accounts your guests can contribute to. Talk to your local bank about your options.

So there are different ways for couples these days to register for what they want.

Think practically and come to a decision together!

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